OK. I admit it. When I first heard of this book - Eat Pray Love, I thought yawn.. not another self help book. I'm surrounded by women in their 40s and 50s who think it's fun to entertain me with scary tales about menopause, bodily changes, mood swings and depression. It's almost like a contest sometimes. Who had the worst day. Who had the worst depression. Who had the hottest flush.Tragic.
I want none of that. I want to grow old gracefully like my mum, cheerful and definitely no hot flush.
So no Eat Pray Love for me. Not even if Oprah raved about it.Not even if Julia Roberts stars in the film version. Thankyouverymuch.
But like they say, NEVER say never.
Maybe it was an urguarded moment. I was fresh from having my 482nd cold war with him, went out for some retail therapy, and as if possessed by some mysterious, unknown force, ended up hugging this book home.
I can't believe it. There are so many things in this book that resonate so deeply with me. I have questioned the same things, experienced some of the despair, and still feeling some of the pain. So OMG. Is this it? Am I going through a midlife crisis?
Maybe.
I've turned 40. Maybe I AM over the hill. Let's see now. I don't sleep quite so much anymore. I don't eat like how I used to. Back then buffet spreads were like my best friends. And if I didn't get my 8 hours of sleep, you better run for your life.
I'm 40. When people irritate me now, I sigh. In my younger days, you would have been amazed at my range of cutting vocabulary. But now, I say nothing and I sigh. I think about how childish people get and I think this is not worth getting worked up. Yeah, so this is what old feels like.
OK. Maybe not old. But definitely not so young anymore. So is this what Midlife crisis looks like? What next, do we go get a face-lift? Maybe a new hot thing, a red car, breast implants? Hmmm.. tempting. But seriously? You got to be kidding.
So what, right? Yes, so I ask deep questions now. Questions like What makes me happy? What defines me? How do I want to live for the next 20 years. How do I want to be remembered as.
I don't have the answers.
And thus, a new chapter has just begun. There are so many things I want to do, so many dreams I want to see come true.
And above all, I want to be happy, everyday.
I have played many roles. It's now time to be me.
