I am a first generation Malaysian Chinese. For the most part, I'm happy to be identified as such. Really. It's cool.
But. For the life of me, I can never understand why we have so many pantangs. (superstitions and taboos) A lot are downright crazy and ridiculous. No wonder they call us the kiasu, kiasi. and kiabo.
You see, for the Chinese, events are either auspicious (red) or not (white). The red kind of events are happy occassions like weddings, births, birthdays and festivals. The white kind are the bad stuff. Like deaths. Red and white can never mix. If you're getting married, you can't attend a funeral. Pantang!
Oh ya. Red and red also cannot mix. So if you're getting married, you cannot attend another wedding. Not even if she's your best friend. Pantang!
I am convinced that some of these pantangs are so designed to put women in our place and make us miserable.
Do you know that men are not allowed to do "female stuff" such as sweeping the floor or do the laundry or feed the baby? Bad luck. Pantang!
Women must let the men folk walk first. You girls, trail a few steps behind okay. What? Walk side-by-side? Bad luck. Pantang!
Girls, if you change seats at a meal, it probably means you're going to change husbands too. Oh and if you don't finish up your rice, count the number of grains you leave there. And that will be the number of pimples your hubby will have. And don't shake your legs. You're shaking the good luck away. Pantang!
When eating, never point your chopstick, knife or fork directly at someone, unless you want that someone to have an accident. And never talk when you are eating. Yap Fung. Pantang!
When using a broom, always sweep from behind the front door and progressively work your way to the back door. Do not sweep anything out of the front door. Never! Otherwise, no more good luck for you. Pantang!
And never let that broom sweep over your leg. Pantang!
Weddings are happy occassions and the rituals and taboos surrounding these are legendary.
First of all, you cannot marry anyone with the same surname. But if you're from a filthy rich family, and you want to keep the wealth within your family, ok-lah, you can marry that cute cousin. No kidding.
The wedding dinner should be a nine-course meal and fish must be served. The wedding flowers should never be yellow or white because these are the colours of death and poverty. Choose only red flowers. Square or rectangle cakes look like coffins. Get only round cakes and your marriage will last forever. No 4 tier cake. In fact no 4 anything or anywhere. "Four" is a seriously BAD word. Major Pantang!
Pregnancy and Giving Birth are also major happy events. And again a slew of taboos.
During pregnancy, the mum-to-be cannot sew. Cannot kill (not even mosquitoes). Cannot eat or drink anything that's dark-coloured, like coffee or soya sauce ( becos your baby will have dark skin and your mum-in-law will accuse you of having an affair with an Indian). Cannot eat or drink anything cold. Cannot paint (baby will have birthmarks). Cannot move your funiture around. Cannot get angry. Cannot attend weddings. Cannot attend funerals. Cannot have sex. Pantang!
In confiinement, the mother cannot shower nor wash her hair for 30 days. In fact, she's not allowed to touch water. Pantang!
Cannot go out. Cannot bring the baby out. Cannot switch on the fan. Must wear socks all the time, even in 34 degrees Celcius! Must drink only hot water. Pantang!
Cannot praise your baby. Not even if she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. Cannot say good girl, or clever girl. Because the opposite will happen. And if someone else says that, quickly say Choi choi choi! Bad girl. Ugly girl.
Oh ya. CANNOT CRY.
Once the baby is born, the mother enters the Confinement period. But really, Confinement is just another name for Imprisonment. Thirty days of hell.
In confiinement, the mother cannot shower nor wash her hair for 30 days. In fact, she's not allowed to touch water. Pantang!
No fruits or vegetables generally. Cook everything with sesame oil and ginger. If possible, squeeze the juice out of those ginger and drink au naturel. I tell ya, it burns all the way down and I mean way way down. And no beef, lamb or mutton. Causes itchiness. Pantang!
Cannot go out. Cannot bring the baby out. Cannot switch on the fan. Must wear socks all the time, even in 34 degrees Celcius! Must drink only hot water. Pantang!
Cannot praise your baby. Not even if she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. Cannot say good girl, or clever girl. Because the opposite will happen. And if someone else says that, quickly say Choi choi choi! Bad girl. Ugly girl.
Oh ya. CANNOT CRY.
These beliefs, taboos, superstitions, I used to laugh and brush them all off. Guess what. Still alive. But now, in my tender old age, I'm more sensitive to other people's sensitivities.
Still, I think it's true only if we believe it's true. I believe in God. Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.
