Clarissa's my first born. And from the time she could talk, she never stopped asking questions. Her inquisitiveness drove me nuts. She would ask questions like :
Why is there a voice inside the telephone?
Are there people inside the TV?
Can I telephone Barney?
What is a boy?
Why can't our dog talk?
Why does daddy snore so loudly?
Why does daddy fart so loudly?
Are the clouds crying again?
Lucky me, I always got the questions. Because Daddy would simply say "Go ask your Mummy".
But it's OK. I could answer her questions. And most of the time, I would always try to give her the honest lowdown, in words that she could understand. Why does daddy snore? Oh. He has a frog in his throat, darling. All grown-up men do.
When she was 4 years old, Alex was born. And all those answers I gave her, she passed on to Alex.
Did you know Alex, that daddy has a trumpet in his backside? That's why he farts so loudly.
The toughest questions tho, were about the birds and bees.
It went something like this :
Clarissa : How was Alex born, Mummy?
Me : Well, you see this belly button? He squeezed out from here.
Clarissa : Oh OK.
But how did he get in there?
Me : Err.. well, Ahh... God put him in there.
Clarissa : Oh OK
The next day, Clarissa was at it again.
Clarissa : Mummy, Daddy said babies are made from sex.
Me : Err... yes, that's right darling.
Clarissa : What is sex, Mummy?
Me : Ummm.. it's like when a man and a woman kiss each other. Like what you saw on TV that
day.
Clarissa : Ewww.. Like kiss naked? On the bed?Me : Err... yes, that's right darling.
Clarissa (huge eyes now) : Mummy! Did you and Daddy have sex before?
Me : Err... yes.
Clarissa : That is disgusting !
Me : Well I did it because I wanted you and Alex.
Clarissa : Oh. But it's still disgusting.
Must I have sex when I'm bigger?
Me : Oh look at Alex. What's he eating?
Parenting. And that's how it's done.
