My CEO, he posted this on his BBM status about a month ago - "The weak can never forgive".
It's still there. And how I hated him for it. Yes I know he didn't invent it. It was Ghandi, wasn't it. But still, I agonized over it.
So I rehashed it with my team of brains, over generous portions of Kenny Rogers Roasters and all-you-can-drink Coca Cola.
We volleyed it back and forth. We talked about people and stuff that made us angry, that hurt so bad. We talked about why words have such power to cut deep and make you wanna die (OK this wasn't from me). We talked about people we wish could just drop dead and die. (wasn't me either).
We talked about why we should forgive. And there's no argument there. We forgive, because God says so. And also because it's such an ugly thing to nurse an old wound and bear grudges. I don't want to live in hate and neither would I wish my three darlings to.
We argued about what it really, really means to forgive. And this is the clincher. What if. What if we CANNOT forget? Does that count? Can you say you've forgiven if you have not forgotten?
I know a lot of people would say that as long as you forgive, but can't forget, that's okay. As long as you forgive lah. As long as you say those words - "I forgive you, man".
Bull.
Let me break this down.
Let's say you lent a friend some money and she promised to pay it back But then she doesn't. And along the way, you told yourself, I forgive her. But one fine day, she asks you for money again. And you remembered what happened! And you say no.
So. Is that forgiveness?
Of course not lah kan.
What forgiveness really is, it involves forgetting. Just like how God forgives us. (Heb. 8:12). I think my prayer from now on is, God, please give me amnesia. Please.
I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. ~Henry Ward Beecher
